No matter what you may have done, it is already accepted. There is no need for forgiveness because permission was granted before any act, any thought or any word you uttered. You are suspended in love, held in love.
There may be consequences for your actions, if you throw a stone into a river it will make a splash. But splashes are the already accepted nature of a world in which there are stones and people to throw them.
The struggle is only in identification with the mind. Let the mind be!
There is no need to stop thoughts, it is the nature of the mind to think. But let the thoughts be! Let them be like clouds which come and go, which billow up into tall towers and change and evolve as they appear and disappear.
Enlightenment is closer than you think. In fact there is nothing closer. It is more intimate than your breath. More intimate even than your thoughts. You think you are having thoughts but in reality thoughts are occurring. They might be useful, or happy or disturbing but they are just occurring.